I don't want him to die!
by Silveretta
Summary: It's been little over a month since book 5, and are you feeling annoyed at who dies? I am, so I wrote this fic where you choose who dies, not JKR! *READ OOTP FIRST!!!*(and then this) :)
1. Default Chapter

I don't want him to die!!!  
  
Hello! It's me again! My Big Brother story is under a hell of a lot of construction at the moment, so I thought I'd produce something in the meanwhile to amuse you all and myself.  
  
Well, it's been over a month since Ms Rowling released The Order of The Phoenix, and as I'm sure you all know, Sirius Black tragically dies. "So what?!" I hear you cry!  
  
I'm sure that most of you are very upset at his sad demise, and this fic is for you! I am giving you the opportunity to tell me who you would rather have died, anyone at all!*  
  
Just leave a review with the character's name, and how you would like them to die. This last bit is optional, but I would prefer it if you did give specifics!  
  
Hope to hear from you all REALLY soon!  
  
~Silveretta~  
  
*well, not anyone-the characters must be involved in the Harry Potter books, and, no silly ones like "the boy who gets sorted into Slytherin at the beginning of the Chamber of Secrets"! Apart from that, you have a free reign, and I'll try to do them all!  
  
A/N: Any flames or stupid reviews will be posted at the end of the chapter and be laughed at very loudly! 


	2. The Boy Who Died

Hey there people! I was really happy with the response I got, thanks all very much! This story is for Cherny and Bweh!!! Enjoy!  
  
The Boy Who Died  
  
"You'll never get away with this Bellatrix!" said Harry, struggling against his bonds. "You're forgetting that I'm The Boy Who Lived!"  
  
"Not today you're not Potter!" Bellatrix grinned evilly, fingering her torture implement.  
  
Harry was rather pissed off, namely at himself. He had decided to go to the Ministry of Magic to save Hermione, who had been attacked by a large book. Ron couldn't come because he was playing in a chess tournament. But, naturally, when Harry got there, it had all been an elaborate hoax using mirrors. This was why Harry was so pissed off; every year Voldemort used mirrors, and every year Harry fell for them. Well, now he was trussed up on a table that was made out of stone, which happened to be circular (but that's another story which is probably better than this one because it involves lions). Bellatrix Lestrange was standing near him, holding a very menacing looking..feather. But this was no ordinary feather, oh no! This feather had been the downfall of Caesar himself. One stroke of the feather and the victim would be rendered completely helpless.  
  
Bellatrix slowly approached Harry, twirling the feather. She actually looked like a character that could feature in a lot of B-Movies, like 'Cat Women from the Moon' for example. As Bellatrix 'B-Movie' Lestrange approached Harry, our hero was feeling rather desperate. Time was running out and no-one had appeared to save him; no phoenixes, no secret order, nothing.  
  
And then it happened, with several swift strokes of the feather Harry had elapsed into helpless laughter.  
  
"Not so cocky now are we Harry?" Bellatrix sneered.  
  
~*~  
  
The following scene has been censored, so let's just say that it involves feathers, treacle and a vibrator. You really don't need to know any more than that.  
  
After about an hour of this awful torture, Harry was wishing that he was dead, which was rather convenient, as he was about to die and all. Bellatrix stepped back to survey her handiwork. She then waved her wand, and Harry closed his eyes, waiting for those fateful words, but 'Avada Kedavra' never came. He opened his eyes slowly, and saw that he was attached to a large harness. To be more exact, the large harness was attached to his... underwear?! Yup, his underwear.  
  
*Oh well* thought Harry *at least they're clean.*  
  
"Harry Potter, you are sentenced to Death By Wedgie!"  
  
Well, they HAD been clean.  
  
To cut a long and painful, not to mention distressing story short, Bellatrix waved her wand again, the harness shot up, taking Harry's underwear with it, and The Boy Who Lived...  
  
Died.  
  
XxX  
  
Well, what did you think? Tell me in a review, and leave a request of who you want to die, and I'll probably do it. (Please read the conditions in the previous chapter!)  
  
Muchos Hugs and Kisses  
  
-Silveretta-  
  
(^_^) 


	3. Revenge on The Nerd

Hello there! It's me again! I was overwhelmed by the amount of reviews, thanks all so much! This chapter is for all you Ron-Haters and especially Jess , so enjoy it!  
  
Revenge on The Nerd  
  
"So, is ALL your hair red then?" The beautiful model asked, sipping her champagne.  
  
"Well, why don't you have a look?" Ron replied suavely.  
  
"Oh, Ron! I can't imagine life without you! Take me now Ron!" He leaned in to kiss her  
  
"Ron! Ron!" hang on. This wasn't her voice.. "Ron! Wake up!"  
  
*Dammit.* thought Ron, opening his eyes and seeing Harry's face close to his.  
  
"Ron, you weren't about to kiss me there were you?"  
  
"No, don't worry mate."  
  
Harry sauntered off, looking rather disappointed. Ron sighed and pulled himself out of bed. How he wished he was back in his own little world, where he was 'Ron Bond'-Superspy, getting all the girls and saving the world. But no, he was plain old Ron Weasley, second to Harry Potter. How he'd love to show everyone that he was just as heroic as Harry. But it would never happen. Or would it?  
  
Ron wandered around for a while until he came to a room. Inside was Voldemort, trying to kill Harry. Ron watched as Voldemort sent a curse towards Harry. He decided that this was as good a time as any to save Harry's butt and be praised for it too. So he took a running leap into the path of the red beam of light.  
  
*So this is what it feels like to be heroic! I could get used to this!* he thought.  
  
But then it went wrong. Very wrong.  
  
You see, it was at that moment that Ron realised that he was colour-blind, and that the light was in fact green.  
  
*Oh great* he thought as he realised that it had just killed him. *But then again, they'll give me loads of attention AFTER I'm dead!*  
  
But unfortunately, he didn't. Everyone decided that Harry had suffered the most in this ordeal, and he needed loads of attention. Ron's body lay in a corner, until it was used as a scarecrow by Hagrid. 


End file.
